Ursa Minor

Lyrics

Goldilocks and the 3 Little Bears were at the court house
They were trying to set all the records straight
The Bears said, "We're suing her for breaking and entering,"
And she said, "But, I got food poisoning from the porridge that I ate."

Goldilocks had hired a Hollywood lawyer
Who had gotten off The Big Bad Wolf
The Bears, they were tired without the sleep they required
And could only afford to defend themselves

And Papa Bear said, "Do you know what it's like to be a little bear,
Trying to find a place in this world?
Sometimes it seems like nobody cares,
And then this crazy blond headed girl
Makes her way into your life
Makes you wish that it was through
Brings you one day closer to checking into the zoo

So continued the storybook trial
And each side got to defend his case
Goldilocks, she put on her prettiest smile
But on the stand that smile, man, left her face

She said, "It's not my fault you see, I was famished
And the cutting wind outside was so cold
They're trying to blame me for some furniture that got damaged,
But hey lets be honest, man, that furniture was old

And Mama Bear said, "Do you know what it's like to be a little bear,
Trying to find a place in this world?
Sometimes it seems like nobody cares,
And then this crazy blond headed girl
Makes her way into your house
Tracks in mud on her shoes
I've read the brochures, and it don't look so bad
Three square meals at the zoo

Well the television cameras were not allowed to show the jury
A jury of her peers well that was hard
They had to let go all the ones who were too furry
And anyone who had been in the circus of the czars

It's no surprise that Goldilocks was declared not guilty
And she shopped around all the movie rights
The Bears went home feeling a little bit filthy
And Baby Bear woke up screaming in the middle of the night

"Do you know what it's like to be a little bear,
Trying to find a place in this world?
Sometimes it seems like nobody cares,
And then this crazy blond headed girl
Makes her way into your bed
Eats you dinner too
Thinking about it it makes me so mad
Please get me out of this zoo

Reflections

This song, of course is about law suit abuse.  It's the untold saga of what happened after the children's story.  I think, though, that in the original story they were not the "little" bears.  That must have been the pigs, or at least just the way I remembered it.  "Ursa Minor" (as in the constellation) means "Little Bear."

There is a big acoustic guitar sound on this.  That must have been my black Takamine, but it almost sounds like some sort of jumbo model that perhaps I borrowed.  At least that's what it sound like.  Miss Margo Haine did a great job on these harmonies.  There was a tambourine on this tune that accidentally never made it from the 2-inch tape to the mix.  I hope to remix this one day and throw that in there.

I love the way that all of these characters sound like such hipsters, using a well-placed "man" every now and again.  Even the narrator does it.  At that time there was a TV show called "Circus of the Stars."  Circus of the "czars" was a pun on that and the fact that the Russian circuses were known for their bears.

There is way too much legal pettiness in our world.  I guess it's better than resolving problems with violence, but far worse than forgiveness or not having the problems to begin with.  I agree that without justice there is no peace, but personal peace, turned back in the other direction, does make for easier and more obvious justice.  Using storybook characters is a good way to show how ridiculous our system can be at times.